The Old You
by CBloom2
Summary: Based on last night's episode (with a few changes) - Cal feeling down after his patient died and he takes it out on Ethan. But is there more to his mood? Thanks to sweet-as-honey for the prompt.
**Hi all, I haven't disappeared ha ha.**

 **This small offering is from a prompt from sweet-as-honey (thank you very much) with a small amount of tweaking done by me. There might be some spoilers for last nights episode and I've changed the ending slightly - in this they aren't going for breakfast.**

 **Hope I do it justice.**

 **Usual disclaimer in that I don't own anyone that you recognise - if I did Ethan wouldn't be having a personality transplant at the moment.**

The Old You

"Cal, it's nearly the end of shift, why don't you go and get a coffee or something before we go home - everything is covered," Robyn suggested as she caught a glimpse of Cal's disconsulate face.

Cal sighed deeply, rubbing his face with his hands, "I wanted to give him a chance...It all seemed to be going so well," he was referring to the REBOA that he had performed in Resus. He had done it under supervision from Dylan and he had seemed pretty impressed with how Cal had performed, but unfortunately the young man had not been strong enough to survive in the long run, leaving Cal feeling deflated.

"I know Cal," the young nurse answered kindly, "But some people are just to weak to survive such a trauma. You did everything that you could. I've got it from here. You go and I'll see you in the pub."

Cal looked at her and smiled slightly, "Ok - see you later. Thanks Robyn for everything."

Five minutes later, Cal was absent mindidly stirring his coffee when he heard the door open.

"Cal," he wasn't surprised when he heard his brother's quiet voice.

"You seen Robyn?" he questioned.

"No actually I saw Dylan - he told me how brilliant you were in Resus and how down you were because the poor young man died."

"Dylan eh? That's a first..." he chuckled.

He picked up his coffee and handed it over to Ethan, who shook his head. He looked at it, then threw it down the sink. After rinising his cup out, the older brother sat down heavily on a stool.

Ethan felt bad for his brother. Cal rarely felt a death to keenly - not that he didn't care - but some he could chalk up to certain circumstances, but ones like this when he had worked so hard, and the patients chances were looking up only to lose them really played on his mind. Ethan knew that Cal would brood on this for a couple of days.

Ethan walked up to him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry Cal. I'm sure that there's nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but I know that you did everything you could to give that young man a chance. He was lucky to get you as his doctor because we all know that you work tirelessly to help people."

Cal smiled at this brother, but the smile didn't reach his eyes, "Thanks Ethan - thanks for trying."

"Come on, the shift is over. Let's get changed and go to the pub to say goodbye to Jack."  
Cal shook his head, "I'll pass - I'm not much company anyway."

His younger brother shook his head vigourously, "Oh no - no excuses, that's what you say to me. Come on, you have to say goodbye to Jack."

Cal chuckled when he saw Ethan giving him 'the look' and at the moment he couldn't deny Ethan anything, so he gave in, "Ok, I'll come for a little while."

"Good man, you know it makes sense," he smiled.

Twenty minutes passed before the gang left the ED. Cal listened to the good natured banter but when Ethan began to dance he had to say something, "You'd better stop watching Dirty Dancing and hang up your Cuban heels, before you hurt yourself," he told him sarcastically.

His younger brother threw him a death stare before asking for Louise's hand and dancing a few moves with her causing her to say "Dr Hardy," quite breathlessly.

Cal nodded, "Quite impressive Nibbles..."

Ethan looked rather pleased with himself, "Thank you. No body puts baby...brother in a corner."  
The rest of the gang howled with laughter, with Cal trying to join in but he was cringing slightly inside.

The beer began to flow and the conversation became louder. Not being in the mood for frivolity, Cal sat himself at the end of the bar just watching. He was pleased that his brother was enjoying himself, but he couldn't help but think that he was trying to hard. He was staring into his pint when he saw Ethan move out of the corner of his eye. When he looked up, he was dancing again. Everyone was laughing once more, but this time, instead of laughing with them, Cal saw red.

"For goodness sake Ethan just sit down!" he told him sharply.

Everyone stopped and it went deathly quiet. Ethan looked at him with a mixture of anger and concern, "Cal?"

"Just stop showing yourself up!" He ground out as he pushed past the rest of the group and left the pub, leaving a very confused and concerned group of friends.

"What's up with him?" Iain asked, having never seen Cal behave in such a way before.

"I think he's had a bad day," Ethan replied, "I'd better go and see how he is."

He said his goodbyes to Jack, who hugged him uncomfortably tightly, and then took his leave.

When Ethan arrived home, he was surprised to find the flat in darkness.

"Cal, are you home?" he asked as he turned on the hall light.

He walked quietly into the living room to see his brother sat in the dark with just a sliver of the light from the hall illuminating his downcast face.

Ethan sat down next to him, "What's going on Cal?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, just a bit tired," Cal answered half heartedly, "I'm sorry about shouting..."

"Come on Cal, this is me you're talking to. I know you - there's more to it than just being tired."

Cal turned towards his brother who was surprised to see how upset the older man looked.

"I just...I..." a small tear tracked down his face, "I want the old Ethan back."

"You've got me. I haven't changed," Ethan looked surprised.

"But you have Ethan. Look I understand why you want to try new things and to be honest, I felt quite honored that you wanted to be 'more Cal' especially after trying to get you to be more like me for years - but now, and I know I sound like a drama queen, it's actually breaking my heart to see you acting so differently. I know you'll probably think I'm being stupid but that's how I feel."

Ethan dropped his gaze, "I didn't realise that I was being so out of character. I thought that I'd fit in more if I was more like you. Everyone seems happier to spend time with me..."

"They enjoy seeing you drunk and dancing around and such..." Cal felt his stomach sink when he saw how sad his brother looked, "Not that they didn't like you before - you know they did. Are you enjoying being 'more Cal' - answer me honestly..."

A small smile appeared, "Quite honestly, I find it exhausting! I just wanted to make sure that I didn't regret anything when the time comes."

"I understand that Ethan, " Cal replied honestly, "But surely it would be better to look back on enjoying the things that you like doing - foreign films, researching, that sort of thing - enjoying a night out when you want to go out, not forcing yourself to go out just because..."

Ethan was nodding his head in agreement, "You've got to be true to yourself little brother - it's the only way," Cal finished as he patted Ethan's leg.

Ethan looked Cal directly in the eyes, "I hate to admit this, but I think you might be right!" he told him, looking as if it was physically hurting him to say such a thing.

Cal laughed heartily for the first time in a long time, swiftly followed by his younger brother.

 **There you have it. Hope it's ok. Please let me know what you think. I know you will because you are all AMAZING in this fandom.**

 **I have an idea for another little offering regarding the scene in last night's episode where there was a scuffle to get the gun in the ED and I was going to include Ethan in that and maybe the gun goes off! What do you think? Should I do it?**

 **Thank you for reading.**


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